Until I Fall Asleep
by AsLostAsAliceAsMadAsTheHatter
Summary: "Will you stay with me, Miri? Just until I fall asleep?" she asked, blinking as she tried to stay awake. "Of course, Racie!" Mirana responded, having planned on it regardless. Iracebeth sighed in happiness, Mirana's presence the last thing she registered before falling asleep.


Winter in Marmoreal was beautiful. Snow glittered in the sunlight, children's laughter rang through the air, and for the most part Time seemed to move more slowly. The downside to the beautiful season was that everyone seemed more susceptible to illness. Thankfully, neither Queen had become ill thus far, something which the kingdom was grateful for as they knew that should one fall sick the other would soon follow, thus leaving them without guidance for at least a few days. Mirana herself was especially happy that illness hadn't seemed to have made its way into the castle, since she didn't want any of her staff to fall sick.

It was at the meeting with the ambassadors of Kindlington, the kingdom across the sea, that she noticed something amiss. Iracebeth was moodier than usual, snapping at anyone and anything that crossed her path. The ambassadors were trembling in their seats by the meeting's end, and Mirana felt a headache brewing. She pulled her sister to the side as everyone left the room for a much needed break.

"Racie, is something the matter? You're not usually so...temperamental."

' _At least not anymore,'_ she added silently. The woman grimaced, annoyance flashing across her face. Mirana sighed inwardly, realizing her sister was in a mood.

"Those idiots wouldn't know a trade agreement from a dormouse! How do you expect me to sit there and listen to them babble on incessantly about things they know nothing of?"

"They were quite intelligent, actually, and I found their proposal most agreeable."

Iracebeth snorted. She didn't want to deal with this right now. She felt miserable, her stomach was aching and she had the beginning of what promised to be a migraine. So she lashed out, hoping that not only would it make her feel slightly better but it would also force everyone to leave her alone, including Mirana.

"I still think it needs wevision before we agree to anything," she said, wanting the conversation over with.

"I suppose so, but we'll worry about that later." She glanced at the doorway where McTwisp was frantically waving and gesturing to his pocketwatch. "It appears as though I'm late for something or other. I'll see you at dinner, alright?"

She hugged her, as always finding joy at the returned action. Iracebeth watched her go, sighing in relief at the silence that surrounded her.

"Queens do not become ill. Queens do not become ill," she chanted quietly to herself, hoping to will away whatever was wrong with her. Her stomach flipped in response. "I do not become ill," she whispered, her hand slipping to cradle her stomach.

* * *

Something wasn't right, Mirana was sure of it. What exactly was amiss she couldn't say, but she could feel it in the air around her, just the slightest hint that things were not as they should be. This was highly unusual, as ever since she and Iracebeth had begun ruling Underland together the kingdom had prospered, even though the citizens were still wary of the redhead. She hadn't had this feeling of unease since those first long weeks wherein they avoided one another at all costs, both swamped with guilt and fear of the other to even begin trying to repair their relationship. The feeling had dissipated after they'd finally begun talking and attempting to rebuild their bond, and ever since everything had been perfect.

She wandered around in a daze for a bit, trying to shake the feeling but unable to succeed. The servants kept out of her way, sensing her distraction, and it wasn't until she realized she was late to meet her sister for dinner did she somewhat come back to herself and notice their odd behavior. They refused to meet her eye, and hurried to avoid her if they saw her coming toward them. Her eyebrows crinkled as she noticed the oddities surrounding her, but she assumed her own unusual behavior had prompted theirs and shrugged it off, continuing to the dining room.

She, as usual, was the first to arrive, and so noticing this heaved a quiet but fond sigh. No matter how much Iracebeth had changed in the past years there were some things that would always remain the same, such as her penchant for arriving late to any and all meetings or events. Rather than grow worried, she settled herself at the table, admiring the landscape through the window and allowing her thoughts to drift to the days ahead. So lost was she in her mind that she failed to notice the passage of Time until the servants placed her meal in front of her. She blinked, startled, and pulled out her small watch from a hidden pocket, shocked to notice she had been waiting for the better part of an hour.

Worriedly, she began eating her dinner, her eyes darting to the door every few seconds in the hope Iracebeth would enter. Tardiness was one thing, but for her sister to miss dinner entirely was extremely unusual. She found herself rushing in order to go search for her, her mind creating scenarios as to why she was absent, none of them pleasant. She didn't eat much before her concern overwhelmed her and she pushed her chair away, fingers twitching in nervousness as she rose to search for her. Her concern grew when she couldn't seem to find her anywhere. Finally, in desperation, she stopped one of the maids who were scurrying around.

"Pardon me, but have you seen my sister anywhere recently? I can't seem to find her and she missed dinner,"

The young woman bit her lip, eyes darting away before she answered, setting the younger queen on edge.

"No, your Majesty, I haven't seen her today."

Squinting in suspicion, for her answer didn't seem quite right, Mirana allowed her to go, already searching for someone else to ask. Of course, in a large castle, it wasn't long before she passed another servant, and she stopped her as well.

"Have you seen my sister? I've been looking for her for quite a while and no one seems to know where she's gone to."

Again, the woman looked away.

"No Ma'am, I 'aven't seen her since this morning."

Her frustration rising, Mirana thanked the woman and continued her search, the thought that she was being lied to crossing her mind and not sitting well. Finally, when her hunt came up empty she decided to check the last place Iracebeth could be, her room. She approached the red door, the only such color in the whole of the palace, and knocked. Receiving no answer she knocked again, this time hearing a quiet rustling of fabric before the door was violently thrown open, revealing her sister.

"What?!" she yelled, though her voice was raspy and it seemed painful for her to speak. She drew back once she realized it was Mirana, a sheepish expression crossing her features. "Sorry, I thought it was the maids for the third time." She moved aside to allow her to enter. "Imbeciles, can't even follow orders correctly."

Mirana grinned, relieved to have found Iracebeth and amused at her comment, however mean it may have been. She watched the way the older woman moved, her eyes narrowing as she noticed that the bed appeared to have been mussed and the corset that was thrown across the back of a chair. Normally the woman would rather have her head chopped off than be seen without a corset. Her eyes found the woman in question, who, now that she focused, looked exhausted. Not even her incredibly white makeup could hide the dark circles emerging under her eyes, nor could it hide that she seemed a bit paler than normal underneath it. Her face was also slightly drawn, as if she was in pain but attempting to hide it.

Iracebeth herself was seated in a chair by her vanity, and gestured to Mirana to sit in another near the wall. Frowning, she did as bade.

"Are you alright, Racie? You missed dinner."

"I'm fine, I simply got distracted by a book I discovered in the library a few days ago."

She closed her eyes briefly as a sharp pain stabbed at her right temple before settling back into the dull throb she had been enduring for hours. Her stomach churned in tandem, and she prayed that she wasn't going to be sick. Mirana watched in worry, the feeling from earlier that something was wrong growing stronger. She pushed it aside, more focused on her sister.

"Ah, well I suppose that happens from Time to Time. Would you like me to have something brought up from the kitchen?" she asked. Nausea crawled up Iracebeth's throat at the mere mention of food, rendering her speechless, so she simply shook her head. "Are you sure? I don't believe you've eaten since breakfast. It isn't healthy to skip meals, Racie."

Iracebeth's heart twinged at the obvious care Mirana was offering her, but she knew that should she even smell food she'd spend the rest of her night on her knees in the bathing chamber being violently ill. She managed a smile to ease some of the concern shining from the blonde's eyes, pleased to see it dim slightly.

"I'm not hungry, Miri. If I get hungry later on I'll have something brought up, I promise."

Mirana smiled, rising to leave, though she still felt she wasn't being told the truth.

"Alright, Racie. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Miri."

* * *

There were many pleasant ways to wake up, and Mirana could name many, but banging on the door was not one of them. She groaned, realizing the sun had barely broken over the horizon, and muttered some very unladylike things before bidding the annoying intruder entrance. To her surprise and confusion it was her sister's ladies maid, and she seemed distressed. That alone woke her up completely, and had her full attention.

"Pardon the interruption, your Majesty, but her Majesty the Red Queen is demanding your presence."

"Whatever for?"

"She is unwell, Majesty," she answered, wringing her hands, "and nothing we do can calm her."

Worry exploded in her mind, as well as awakening her inner healer, and she was out of bed and tying a dressing robe over her nightgown before she fully realized what she was doing. She strode from her room quickly and purposefully, the maid nearly having to run to keep up.

"What exactly is wrong?" Mirana asked.

"She complains of a headache and nausea, as well as a sore throat," the woman answered.

Mirana hummed, already forming a list in her mind of the potential illnesses her sister could have. She didn't bother knocking when she reached Iracebeth's room, her abrupt entrance startling the other women who were attempting to tend to the woman. Iracebeth was, incredibly, crying, and the sight stopped the younger blonde in her tracks. Her sister never cried, ever, and that alone increased her worry tenfold.

"Racie," she breathed, distress coating the word.

She rushed to her side, tears springing to her eyes as she heard what the woman was muttering under her breath.

"Miri, someone get Miri! I want my sister! Someone get Miri!"

Her eyes were squeezed closed, presumably in pain, and she didn't realize Mirana was in the room. She rushed to the redhead, laying a hand on her shoulder and wincing as she felt the heat there.

"I'm here, Racie, I'm here," she said, signalling to the staff to back away.

Iracebeth quieted, turning her head and slitting open her eyes. It was then Mirana realized she wasn't wearing any makeup, and for the first time in two decades she was seeing her real face, which was unfortunately incredibly pale and flushed.

"Miri?" she questioned quietly.

"Yes, Racie, it's alright, I'm here."

"It hurts, Miri. Everything hurts!"

"Shh, shh, I know, I know. Hush now, it's alright." She looked to the woman who had fetched her. "Go to the kitchens and fetch me some ingredients from my alchemy table. I'll need Moonflower petals, Red River water, sap from a Bungle Tree, the seeds of a Thrum Pod, and some honey."

The woman nodded, confusion washing over her features as the last ingredient was mentioned.

"Honey, your Majesty? What healing property does that offer?"

"Not much," Mirana smiled, her gaze turning back to her sister, "but it will sweeten the tonic enough so that she will drink it. She's been that way since we were children."

"I'll gather the ingredients right away, Majesty."

"Thank you. Could one of you ladies get me a cool bowl of water and a cloth in the meantime? After that you're free to rest, I will stay with her."

"Are you sure? We will gladly attended to her Majesty," the younger of the two spoke up.

"It is no problem. She is my sister and she needs me, I would have it no other way," Mirana answered, giving the girl a reassuring smile.

Pacified, the girl scampered off to gather the requested items, returning soon after. She dismissed them, wetting the cloth and placing it on her sister's forehead, suppressing a sigh when she immediately removed it.

"Leave it, it will help," she said, replacing it.

"It hurts, Miri. It's too cold," Iracebeth argued, and the blonde noticed she was shivering.

Her heart broke at her sister's pain, and she immediately pulled the blankets up more tightly around the woman. She smoothed her hand across them, removing the creases, her eyes scanning the room for another and checking that the fire was lit.

"There now, is that any better?" Iracebeth nodded, watching her flit around the room gathering things and pulling a chair to the bedside. "Okay, Emer should be back soon and I'll mix up a medicine for you."

"No, I don't want any!" Iracebeth protested, turning her back to her sister.

"Racie, you need it. It will help bring down your fever and help you to sleep," Mirana argued patiently, very familiar with the age old denial.

"I don't care, I don't want it!"

Mirana chose to remain silent, well aware the only way to convince her to take it was to bargain with her when the time came. Thankfully, Emer returned fairly quickly with the ingredients, bringing enough for several doses of potion. Mirana thanked her, dismissing her as well, and just as the others were, she was reluctant to leave the queens alone.

"But Majesty, it is my job to tend to her Majesty's needs! " Emer protested.

"I promise you, it is nothing I can't handle. You deserve the rest, please retire. I will call for you if i require assistance," Mirana said, her tone gentle but firm.

The woman nodded, sensing the danger lurking beneath the surface of the benevolent woman and bowed respectfully to both queens before taking her leave. Mirana turned and began mixing together the ingredients, Iracebeth groaning quietly in the background. She swirled the concoction triumphantly minutes later, the various colors swirling together and combining to glisten a cool blue. She smiled, pleased to have finished it so quickly.

"Alright Racie, your medicine is ready," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I told you I don't want it!" she snapped, not bothering to look at the younger woman.

Mirana was ready, and didn't let the refusal bother her.

"Racie, you need to take it. If you take it I'll do whatever you ask or give you whatever you want, within reason of course."

The older of the two turned to face her, questions dancing in her eyes.

"Weally? Anything?"

"Within reason," Mirana reminded her.

"Okay."

The blonde blinked, shocked it hadn't taken more convincing. She handed over the vial, biting her lip to keep a smile at bay as she watched her sister's face contort in disgust as she stared at the liquid. Iracebeth took a breath before tilting her head back and downing it in one go, surprise showing as she registered the taste. She looked to Mirana in shock.

"This is sweet. You remembered?"

"Of course I remembered, Racie."

Iracebeth smiled at her, a rare occurrence, and she felt herself light up at the action.

"I believe you promised me whatever I wanted."

"Within reason," Mirana said for the third time, worried about what she would choose.

"Oh honestly Mirana, you act like I'm going to ask for someone's head," Iracebeth said, slightly annoyed.

"No, no I didn't-! I mean I just wasn't sure…." she stuttered, hoping she hadn't angered the redhead.

"I know what you meant, Miwana," Iracebeth sighed. "I just wish you'd understand that I won't always be a monster."

"I know that, Racie, I just didn't know what you would want. I remember when we were little it was a later bedtime, or extra sweets, but now I have no idea," Mirana said, grasping her hand.

The older of the two stared at the entwined appendages for a moment, suddenly sure of what she wanted. She could feel the medicine Mirana had given her beginning to take effect, and yawned, missing her sister's smile.

"Will you stay with me, Miri? Just until I fall asleep?" she asked, blinking as she tried to stay awake.

"Of course, Racie!" Mirana responded, having planned on it regardless.

"Thank you," her sister whispered, giving her hand a squeeze before releasing it and rolling over.

The blonde smiled, sliding a little closer and beginning to rub her back as their mother had when they were small. Iracebeth sighed in happiness, Mirana's presence the last thing she registered before falling asleep.

* * *

Mirana knew that she had duties and appointments to attend to, but she couldn't bring herself to leave her sister alone while she was sick. She knew how long Iracebeth had spent alone, believing no one loved her, and how lonely she had been. The last thing she wanted was to send her back to that time in her life, and she also genuinely wanted to take care of her. They were the only thing each other had left, and she wanted to make sure she understood she'd always be there when she needed her.

So she decided to work on any paperwork that had accumulated due to the dignitaries visit, including their trade agreement. As Iracebeth slept Mirana looked it over, considering the opportunities it would afford them and what they would be getting in exchange for their goods. As she finished rereading it, she discovered her sister had been correct, it was slanted vastly in Kindlington's favor. She had just begun working on a counterproposal when Iracebeth began waking up. She sat the document aside, going to sit on the bed in case her sister needed anything.

The redhead groaned as she reentered consciousness, her body beginning to protest almost immediately. She squinted her eyes open, the sunlight streaming through the windows aggravating her headache and causing her to bury her face in her pillow.

"Racie?" Mirana questioned when she was sure her sister was awake.

"Miri?" Iracebeth asked, confused as to why her sister was with her. "Are you still here?"

"Well, yes," she said, hurt that her sister didn't want her there. "Why wouldn't I be? Do you want me to go?"

"You stayed?" the older of the two asked, still trying to grasp that she hadn't been left alone.

"Yes, but if you want I'll go."

"No, no. I want you here I just...I thought you had left after I fell asleep."

Mirana reached over and gripped her hand, her eyes boring into brown so similar to her own.

"You asked me to stay, so I did. I didn't want you to be alone, Racie. I want to take care of you if you'll let me."

Iracebeth gaped, shocked at her sister's devotion. Sure, they had forgiven and managed to live and rule together, but she never would have thought Mirana would be willing to look after her.

"You do?"

"Of course. You're my sister, I'd do anything for you, especially help you feel better." She squeezed her hand, relieved to notice it wasn't as hot as it had been earlier that morning. "Would you like something to eat? We could have breakfast together if you like."

Her stomach flipped at the mention of food, but logically she knew she needed to eat something and she knew Mirana hadn't eaten yet, so she nodded her head. The blond beamed, leaning across her to pull the rope that would summon a maid.

"What would you like?" She asked, readjusting her position.

' _Nothing'_ , was the thought that sprang to mind, but she didn't want to worry her.

"Fruit, and perhaps some toast?" she answered, hoping that she could eat at least a little and keep it down.

"Okay, that's easy enough," Mirana said with a smile, rising to meet the maid at the door.

The redhead smiled at her retreating back, though it was strained not only from pain but the knowledge that she was most likely going to be sick later on. She allowed her eyes to slip closed, knowing that if she fell asleep Mirana would wake her when their breakfast arrived.

…

Surprisingly, she had been able to eat when the food arrived. Mirana had sat beside her on the bed and they had discussed her revisions to the trade agreement, and Iracebeth had had to admit she had done a good job. The document outlined fairer arrangements, mostly ensuring that Underland gained something from the agreement. It was as they were discussing what they could do with the new wealth that her stomach began churning violently, rebelling against the meager breakfast she had eaten. She tried taking a few deep breaths, hoping to settle her stomach by force, but that only seemed to make it worse.

"Racie, are you alright?" Mirana asked, noticing she seemed to be in distress. She shook her head. "What's wrong?"

"I think I'm going to be sick!" she gasped, bolting off the bed and into the attached washroom.

Retching sounds followed quickly after, and Mirana followed, concerned. She found her sister on her knees near the toilet, her face ghostly pale and glistening with sweat.

"Oh Racie!" she said, seating herself on the floor behind her and stroking her back.

Iracebeth turned and heaved again, tears spilling as the acid burned the back of her throat. Her hair had partially fallen out of it's heart shape, and Mirana busied herself removing the rest of the pins, hoping that would help the headache she was sure the other woman had. Once the pins were out she held her hair back, wincing as it became obvious there was nothing else for her sister to bring up. She continued to dry heave for several minutes, tears running down her face as her abdomen began to ache.

"Make it stop!" she pleaded once, not long after Mirana had joined her.

"I can't, Racie. I wish I could."

It broke her heart to see the person she loved most in such pain, and she wished their situation was reversed. Finally, Iracebeth stopped retching, leaning against the seat tiredly. Mirana slipped out from behind her and flushed the toilet, helping her sit up and handing her a cup of water to rinse her mouth out. She helped her off of the floor and back to bed, rummaging through the closet until she found another blanket, as the episode had caused Iracebeth's fever to skyrocket. She tucked her back in, not bothering to give her anymore medicine for fear it wouldn't stay down. She also refreshed the cloth she had been given earlier, hoping that it would give her some relief.

As she watched her settle into a fitful sleep she knew she had potentially signed on for more than she could handle.

* * *

It wasn't until later that night that things started getting worse. Mirana couldn't keep Iracebeth's fever down with a cool compress alone, but she also couldn't give her anything for it because it wouldn't stay down. Even water wasn't agreeing with her. She worried that her sister was going to become dehydrated if she couldn't stop throwing up, so she began rifling through her books for a way to quell the nausea. She stayed up most of the night, servants bringing tome after tome, none yielding the results she so desperately needed. Sometime before dawn she gave in to her exhaustion and crawled into bed beside her sister, hoping that with rest she could think of a solution.

…

Mirana thanked any god she could think of as she stared at the page she had abandoned the night before. She had been too tired and scared to take in its words earlier, but now that she was rested she could clearly see the recipe for a nausea treatment printed across the page. Nearly sobbing with relief she called for the ingredients, instructing the maids on how to make it as she tried to soothe her sister. Getting the concoction down her throat was another matter entirely, and she was glad she had help for it. They did eventually accomplish it, among the screams and flailing, and fortunately a side effect seemed to be sleep, so Mirana was able to dismiss the servants and receive some more rest herself.

…

The first thing Iracebeth noticed when she next regained consciousness was that for the first time in several days she didn't feel like she'd immediately be sick. The second thing was that there was something very warm and very soft pressed against her side. Opening her eyes, she blinked a few times to adjust to the low light of the room before turning her head to her left, eyes widening when she realized it was her sister pressed tightly against her. It was the first time in a long time they'd been so close, much less shared a bed, and she found herself studying her closely and comparing her to the child she'd once been.

She hadn't changed much, not truly, merely filling out and growing taller. But there were now streaks of silver in her hair where a few years previous there had only been blonde, and threads of white in her own. Hesitantly, she reached over and ran her hand over her head, regret flooding her as she thought of all the years she had missed. She could just make out the smile that crossed the younger woman's face, causing a smile of her own. She then glanced over to her desk, noticing the multiple books and papers strewn across it, and she realized that her sister was most likely the cause for her improvement. It would also explain why she was curled beside her instead of in her own room, her fatigue most likely having gotten the best of her.

"I love you, Miwana," she whispered, the words still foreign after so many years.

The blonde hummed in her sleep, snuggling closer, almost as if she'd understood her. Iracebeth would have been content to lie there the rest of the day, but unfortunately her body made its needs clear. Gently, she extracted herself from the bed, making sure to re-cover her sister before heading into the bathing chamber. She drew herself a bath, sinking into the warm water with a groan as her sore muscles sighed in relief.

…

Iracebeth re-entered her room after a bath feeling much better than she had before. She stopped at the fireplace, poking at the logs within before returning to her bed, the venture having used up what little energy she'd had. She tried to get back in carefully so as not to disturb her sister, but Mirana woke anyway, at first giving her a sleepy smile before her face broke into a large grin.

"Racie! You're awake! How do you feel?" she asked, propping herself up on her elbow.

She gave her sister a smile, sliding down to face her.

"Better, though still horrible."

Mirana hummed, yawning soon after. She laid back down, their faces inches apart.

"I don't know why I'm so tired," she murmured, her eyes already slipping closed.

Iracebeth looked at her more closely, smiling as she reached a conclusion.

"It seems as though you should have allowed the staff to tend me," she said, reaching over to brush a strand of hair out of the blonde's face.

"Why is that?" she asked, already nearly asleep.

"I think you've caught whatever it is I have."

"Oh, well, then I suppose I'll just have to keep you company."

Iracebeth hummed, her eyes taking in the emerging pink on the woman's cheeks. She automatically pulled the blankets more tightly around them, some long-forgotten instinct rising within her. Mirana sighed, sliding closer and laying her head on Iracebeth's shoulder.

"Love you, Racie."

"I love you too, Miri."


End file.
